


Come on Snake, Let's Rattle

by Katana20034



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: 1950s Slang, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Based on a Tumblr Post, Crack, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders is a Little Shit, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Violence, Party, Remus is stinky, This Is STUPID, but just because remus, cannot stress that enough, logan patton and virgil dont have major roles in this theyre just kind of there, remus is gross and thats important to this fic, roman isnt that important but he does talk, snake jokes, so is his brother to be honest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24283957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katana20034/pseuds/Katana20034
Summary: The title is pretty self explanatory. Remus is at a party with Janus, and decides to try to win him over with some fun little slang from the 1950s in the hopes of getting a dance with him. Janus interprets it as the other meaning the statement can have. Someone gets punched in this story. Hilarity ensues.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 94





	Come on Snake, Let's Rattle

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a quick little joke fic of sorts I wrote after a late-night discord convo with my friend, and it's not a fandom I usually write for, so my apologies if this is a little crappy, but hey, it's a crack fic.
> 
> yes, we got this idea from a Tumblr post, please don't shout at me

Remus glanced around the room. It had been Roman's idea to throw a little house party of sorts in the Mind Palace, and it was going pretty well, considering a lot of the guests were just illusions of Thomas' friends and acquaintances, summoned by Roman to make things seem more lively than they would have been with just the six Sides present. It didn't take him long to spot his brother, who had managed to convince Virgil to join him on the dance floor, a nearly impossible feat to accomplish, though Virgil barely moved at all and kept looking around nervously the whole time. Regardless, Roman seemed to be having the time of his life, which was good for him, Remus supposed. He also supposed it would be incredibly amusing if Roman were to trip and fall and _just so happen_ to land on top of Virgil in the process right now, but he had more pressing matters to attend to. He _did_ file that idea away for later, though. He fully intended on making it happen. On the other side of the room, over by the snacks, was Patton, accompanied by Logan. Patton was excitedly piling a paper plate high with cookies and other sweets as Logan stood behind him, trying to persuade the excitable side that no, you don't need that many cookies, Patton, give it a rest, but to very little avail, as the happy little Morality kept grabbing more snacks. Most of Thomas' close friends were gathered in one area of the room, the dance floor, standing as a unit. A brief thought occurred to Remus of a large chunk of the ceiling, conveniently the size of the space the group was occupying, suddenly coming loose and crushing them, which caused him to snicker slightly to himself. Eventually, however, his eyes fell on the side he'd been trying to find all evening. He mischievously sauntered over to where the snake boi in question was sitting, eyeing different partygoers with a cunning look, as though he too was thinking of the partygoers experiencing unfortunate crushing by the ceiling. Remus grinned, giddy, and bounced excitedly up to Deceit, who glanced up at his approach with a curious tilt of his head. 

Remus had, a few hours prior, been informed of an interesting bit of slang from history by his brother, who had heard about it online, to nobody's surprise. In the 1950s, it was common slang to tell someone "Come on snake, let's rattle," as an invitation to dance. Obviously, as soon as Remus heard about it, he _had_ to try it out. Even if there was the chance this was just some dumb prank on his brother's part, he figured he'd at least give it a shot. Janus conveniently sitting by himself only helped make it easier for him. Remus had been going over this idea in his head for _hours_ now, and he just couldn't wait to see if he could pull this off. He especially looked forward to what might ensue if he succeeded. After all, Deceit was one pretty well-dressed snake boy, and Remus _really_ wanted to know what else was under that cape of his. 

Besides, it was a party! They might as well be having fun! So naturally, Remus decided to ask the snake and pathological liar known as Deceit to dance using an outdated slang word that he might not even get, as you do. He did his most unnecessarily extra "royal bow," as he and Roman called it, and extended a hand to the other side, whose eyes widened with surprise, but were joined by an eager twinkle in them. It was now or never, time to see if this would work. At worst, Deceit would just brush it off, or maybe laugh at him, but Remus didn't really care. Here went nothing. 

"Come on, snake," he said, trying to lower his voice a bit to sound more seductive, but not doing a very good job of it by anyone's standards (especially not his brother's). "Let's rattle~."

What happened next, was, Remus decided, not at all what he expected. 

Deceit suddenly straightened up in his seat, looked at him with shock, and almost as though he was wondering if he'd misheard Remus, for a moment. "What did you ssssay...?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. 

Remus huffed before doing his bow a second time for emphasis. "I _said,_ " he reached out his hand, "Come on, snake, let's _rattle."_

Janus stared at him for a few moments in silence, before slowly standing up. Remus stood up straight to make eye contact and watched gleefully as Deceit slowly approached him, an intense look in his eyes. Janus stopped just in front of him, and slowly raised one of his hands. Remus was about to reach out and take the said hand when Janus suddenly pulled the hand back and then promptly slammed it into the side of Remus' face. The Duke stumbled back, clutching at his now bruised cheek, before looking at Deceit with stunned silence, his mouth agape. 

When the "dark side of Creativity" finally remembered how to speak, he stumbled over his words for a moment before finding the appropriate reaction. 

" _Why_ in the name of _Cthulu's armpits_ would you do that?!" Remus exclaimed, trying not to think about how his voice cracked. What he _wasn't_ trying not to think about, however, was that what just happened to him was... surprisingly hot, at least to him. 

"Well, you said you wanted to fight, albeit via 1950s slang, so I took you up on that offer," Janus said, shrugging. "No idea why, guess you just wanted to feel some pain or something."

"I was inviting you to _dance,_ not to fight, you double-dicked dingus!" Remus said, smirking at his little snake joke. 

"Oh. Well I _definitely_ knew that," Janus openly lied, rolling his eyes. "Did you even know that phrase had two meanings?"

"No, I learned it from my brother, Goodie-Poo-Shoes over there!" 

"That explains it." 

Apparently somehow sensing that two of the "dark sides" were discussing him, Roman suddenly rose up beside the two. "What's going on over here in the Corner of Slimy Fashion Sense? Why is Remus' face all bruised?"

"I didn't punch him," Janus said, adjusting one of his gloves and looking at Roman coldly. 

Roman burst into hysterical laughter and turned to Remus. "Wait, you used the line I told you?! Without knowing it also meant challenging someone to a _fight?!_ Wow, at least we know who the dumb twin is, am I right?" 

Janus just sighed and gave Roman a bored look. "If you're done, would you mind sticking around longer? I'm just _loving_ your input to this conversation right now."

"Yeah yeah, whatever, you overdramatic danger noodle. Kudos to you for punching my brother, though, loved it." Roman went back over to where Virgil was waiting for him, annoyed at the Prince's sudden disappearance. 

Janus watched him go, then turned back to look at Remus, and looked him up and down before smirking. "So, how about that dance, then?"

Remus' grin returned, and he eagerly stepped closer, getting right up in Janus' face. Deceit didn't even flinch. "Any chance that offer includes more than one kind of dancing? I've been told I'm a bit of an expert when it comes to the _horizontal tango_ ," the Duke teased, giving Janus a little eyebrow wiggle. 

"Is this because I punched you? Don't tell me you're into that kind of thing."

Remus' only response was another eyebrow wiggle. 

Janus grabbed him by the collar. "You're so disgusting. I _hate_ it," he said, face quickly shifting into one of smug eagerness. 

"Looks like we're going to be doing some _rattling_ after all," Remus replied.

"Perhaps. But first, I believe you offered me a dance."

"Unless you'd rather punch me again."

"Let's save the punching for the next time you screw up old slang."

"Guess I need to get Roman to teach me more, then."

"Please, do _not._ For once, I'm being completely honest here. You're probably just going to get tricked into being punched again, either by me or one of the others."

"Good!"

"Remus, _no."_

"REMUS _YES!"_

Janus grabbed him by the hand and dragged him to the dancefloor, quickly distracting the Duke from his chain of thought. 

A few hours later, Roman found himself with a very enthusiastic Remus _demanding_ to learn more potentially harmful slang.

_In hindsight,_ Roman thought, _this was a terrible idea._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed... whatever this was! Comments and kudos appreciated!


End file.
